Days out with my high maintenance family
My family loves days out, I'm really lucky in that respect. My husband loves to plan holidays and days out so we make a great team. Michael loves nothing more than being out of the house so we are always trying to think of places to go. However, a day out is no longer just a simple day out with my family. I now realise my family is high maintenance.
"he has done nothing but shit in his secret corner"
Take our recent "day out" at Legoland. The lead-up! So we have been going through the nightmare of potty training for what seems like a life time. In reality, it's about a year. Which is a very long time. He's had a reward jar so if he has a successful toilet trip he gets pasta pieces to pop in. When it's full he gets a reward which we have pre-agreed with him.
Success! he's filled up the jar so the reward of Legoland is in sight. However, the days in the run up to our trip he has done nothing but shit in his secret corner. He's behaving like Paula Radcliffe and shitting where he likes. Phil and I are ready to lose our shit (no pun intended) and cancel the trip.
I really didn't know what to do so for the first time ever I turned to those Mumsnet chicks. Actually, they were really helpful! They were right I shouldn't break my promise. He had earned it so the trip will go ahead.
The days before any trip I have a beauty regime. I like to make an effort. I especially at the moment like to treat myself to a shower and remove the smell of stale baby sick. In a casual conversation with Phil, I mention I need to wax my unsightly hairs from my face. Yes, I said face. His reply was "yeah cos you know you will want an ooooh camping selfie, ooooh Legoland selfie". Whatever!
So I get round to the waxing and Mikey insists on helping me. Turning an already painful process into an on the verge of tears process. At this point, I'm once again giving him the biggest evil but he just thinks it's my look of love so it's ok.
Back to the trip. I don't drive so on our trips it's all down to Phil. He was concerned about being tired having to arrive early and leaving late with a 4 hrs + round trip. So I had a last minute thought that we should camp the night before. It was cheaper than a hotel and more fun.
So we booked it. But wait that meant we had to do a deal with my mum to look after the booby monster that is Jacob. We then had to pack all his shit and all of ours. We had one car full for the babies things and then another load for ours. Not forgetting the breast pump of course!
On a side note....imagine my embarrassment when we get searched on the way into Legoland and my breast pump is the first thing the security guy sees in our picnic bag. Complete shame and nervous giggles! No, i'm not hiding a weapon or an illegal substance in my breast pump!
Anyway, the point is we all come with so much stuff that we need a bigger car and I need to get even more serious with my planning skills. It's hard thinking for a family of 4. Phil got upset with me the other day because I forgot his coat. I explained he's a grown up and I can not be held responsible for that. So lucky for him I took on-board his feedback and remembered his coat this time because of course, it pissed it down today at Legoland. Damn summer holiday weather.
A day out is no longer just a day out. It's a week of mental preparation, days of packing our stuff with multiple lists and military precision. We do have a great time though and if we forget something well fuck it we are British and will make the most of it.
After a nice trip away camping for the night and Legoland, I write this for you whilst pumping my breast milk on the M25. Phil's reaction "wheeeey get em out". This is what I'm dealing with! 3 boys and a Mum in a Mann's world.
