Mum Friends - Expectation Vs Reality

Growing up I was pretty shy. Only comfortable with those people I knew. I never wanted to pick up the phone to anyone and would want my mum to do all the talking for me. My sister is great at small talk and chit chat! This however for me is very much out of my comfort zone. Seeing her talk to other mums filled me with dread.

When I found out I was expecting Mikey back in 2013 I remember thinking how strange it was going to be having no other friends with children. My expectation of other mums was they are all very cliquey and have a circle that I wouldn't fit into and just talk about how perfect their children are. I'm a very relaxed person and I just didn't think my style of parenting would fit in with them. I certainly didn't think I would have anything in common with them.

"from camping, to wine, to nipple twisting"

I got away with it for a while but the first day of nursery arrives. I'm stood in the queue. Looking at the other mums and dads and thinking "crap do I have to talk to them". Funny, not many wanted to engage with me. A few smiles but the chat wasn't there. Could they sense my fear? Was I not dressed correctly?

This put me even more on edge and I found myself asking them questions and starting conversations. What was wrong with me?!?! I dug so deep to prepare myself for this moment and I was the one talking.

My husband is again shy unless you know him. So poor Mikey had no chance. He was painfully shy but has grown to be a confident and caring little boy. His confidence has helped him to make friends which is great....but it means he's invited to birthday parties.

I dreaded these as he grew up. Those awkward conversations whilst they play. Turns out though I can have chit chat and small talk. I have to pull out my inner social butterfly and be all grown up but I can do it.

Fast forward to the end of the school year and I think I have mum friends. Actually, my expectations were wrong. They are all different and actually there is more to their characters than being a mum.

I was recently invited to a play date (I know right check me out!). I always get nervous like it's a first date I'm going on. After being introduced to everyone I managed to hold my shit together and build up some rapport! Over the date (I mean play date) there were conversations from camping, to wine, to nipple twisting. All...well most of these I could contribute to. Not the nipple twisting!

These mums are like me. Just trying to be the best parent they can. Dealing with melt downs and life one day at a time. I really enjoy spending time with other mums now. Even if I will probably still be nervous each time!

They aren't there to judge me as no one is an expert at this parenting thing. The reality is they are just like me and if they like wine then even better! Time to crawl out of that shell and be a grown up for this mum in a Mann's world.